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D., co-author of Her take: “The first guy I dated when I moved to New York let me take care of him, which I thought would lead to a relationship.

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Don’t assume someone is going to be committed unless you’ve talked about it.“The more there’s courtship and the guy is pursuing a woman he’s interested in, the more powerful the reward is of actually being with that person is.If a guy gets everything up front, it’s quite possible his interest and that reward mechanism aren’t going to kick into gear,” Kerner explains.After two months, I invited him on a preplanned trip with friends, but he declined.After the trip, his text messages became shorter and the phone calls stopped.

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